THE MOST RANDOM TORTURE FIC EVER!
by Snea's Gang and Mai's Gang
Summary: The most random torture fic ever with different anime characters from our fave anime shows and some ppl from our school and other ppl! (Written by Mai, Evil Yuki, and Snea) UPDATED! Snea's Housewarming party get's crashed by a rude...comment!
1. Kenshin Bashing! Literally!

THE MOST RANDOM TORTURE FIC EVER  
  
By Evil Yuki, Mai, & (sometimes) Snea  
  
Author notes: This is a bunch of random stuff with all sorts of crap. This mostly revolves around Mai trying to ruin Kenshin's life. But there are some other anime characters in this too.   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but myself. (Myself as in the one and only Mai!) (Snea: Yeah, and I own myself & Mi is Mai's lil sis.)  
  
Chapter 1: Kenshin Bashing! Literally!   
  
Let's go!   
  
I'm searching through my book called, "Who will I torture today?"   
  
Mai: I think I'll torment Kenshin today. This'll be easy!   
  
Later, at Kagome's house.   
  
Kagome is shampooing her hair viciously.   
  
Kagome: I can't believe that girl dyed my hair 'green'! MAI!!! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Inuyasha is banging on the bathroom door.   
  
Inuyasha: For the love of Kikyo, get out of the d@^^|\| bathroom!   
  
Kagome stomped out of the bathroom with still green (but shiny) hair, glaring.  
  
Kagome: I'm going to get her if it's the last thing I do!   
  
Inuyasha: Not this again.   
  
Leaving Kagome and her place.   
  
Kaoru is sweeping just outside the dojo.   
  
Mai: 'I don't like Kori. I'll just do something evil to her!' Hi Kori!   
  
Kaoru: Well, if it isn't Mai. How are you?   
  
Mai: I'm looking for Kenshin. Have you seen him?   
  
Kaoru: No, why?   
  
Mai: No special reason.   
  
I begin to walk away when.   
  
Mysterious voice: AYA!!! ATTACK!!!  
  
Mai: Eeeeeppp!!!   
  
Scary smoke affects.   
  
Mysterious voice: I have come from the underworld itself! Prepare to die!!   
  
Mai: You're not scaring anyone Akane.   
  
Akane: Whatever!!! I'm still gonna get you back for putting ants in my noodles I made for breakfast yesterday!   
  
Mai: So what? No one was gonna eat it anyway! And who puts bagels and starbursts in noodles?   
  
Akane: I've had enough!   
  
She was going to charge when someone put a hand on her shoulder.   
  
Brock: Oh, what a lovely image! I'm Brock, what's your name? I see you take lessons in martial arts!   
  
Misty pulls him away by the ear.   
  
Misty: I'm gonna teach you a lesson!   
  
Everyone sweat drops.   
  
Mai: Ugh. I feel sick!   
  
Kagome: There you are! Inuyasha! Sick em' boy!   
  
Inuyasha: I'm not a little hunting dog you know!   
  
Kagome: .SIT BOY!!!!   
  
Inuyasha: (crashes to the ground) AAAAHHHAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!   
  
Mai: Ouch!   
  
Kaoru: What are you anyway? (Reaches down and rubs Inuyasha's ears.)   
  
Akane: Wow! I wanna touch em' too!   
  
Both Kaoru and Akane are rubbing Inuyasha's ears.   
  
Inuyasha: Its times like these that make me want to be human!   
  
Mai spots Kenshin.   
  
Mai sneaks away from the 'I wanna touch Inuyasha's ears!' club, unaware that another being was creeping in the shadows.   
  
Mai: Kenshin!   
  
Kenshin turns around: (Blushes) Oh no! Get away from me!!   
  
Mai: (Looks confused) Is he saying I look ugly?! Scary even?!! (Takes out a frying pan) Kenshin, get your sword fighting butt over here!!   
  
Kaoru: Hey! No girl can have Kenshin but me!   
  
Kaoru chases me with a bamboo sword and I chase Kenshin with a frying pan.   
  
Kagome: Hey! I want revenge!   
  
Gets her bow and arrow and joins the chase.   
  
Kenshin is cornered.   
  
Mai: (Pants.) Huh. I got you. why are you running away from me!?   
  
Kenshin looks terrified.   
  
Kenshin: I'm not running from you, I'm running from. HER!!!!!!! (Points at the shadows and out comes a woman!)   
  
Urd: Kenshin, darling, why are you running away from me?   
  
Kenshin: Leave me alone!!   
  
Mai: Oh. Better go ruin someone else's life for now.   
  
I turn around to have my face buried in something fluffy, and what do you know? It was Fluffy!!   
  
Mai: FLUFFY!!!!   
  
Sesshoumaru: I'm not Fluffy! (Sees Urd) Whoa! She's cute!!   
  
Mai: ....... KILL FLUFFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
The frying pan finds itself resting on a bump on Sesshoumaru's head.   
  
Sesshoumaru: I'll kill you later.   
  
A little girl jumps at Sesshy's feet.   
  
Mi: It's Sesshy!! You know Mai likes you, right?   
  
Mai: I'll kill you, you little conspirator!   
  
Mi: I ain't good at big words.   
  
Kaoru: In other words, she means 'traitor'. I can explain everything to you-   
  
Mai: DON'T!!   
  
(Kaoru talks WAY too much when she explains something.)   
  
Akane: Hey! Someone come eat my new recipe for onion donuts!! I think it should be good this time!   
  
Urd: I'll eat some!   
  
Mai: NO URD! DON'T! YOU DON'T KNOW THE DANGERS-   
  
Urd: Mmm. This stuff is good!   
  
Everyone stares in amazement.   
  
Urd: Kenshin darling, here try some!   
  
Kenshin: I'm not really hung-   
  
Urd: Eat it or your life ends now and you get sent to oblivion!   
  
Kenshin: Ok!   
  
Kenshin eats the donut and faints.   
  
Urd: DARLING!!!   
  
Akane: Someone go get Dr. Tofu!   
  
Mai: I can be a doctor!   
  
Mi: You can?   
  
Mai: Sure I can!   
  
I banged Kenshin in the head with my frying pan.   
  
Mai: WAKE UP STUPID!!!!   
  
I was gonna give him another hard smack when Kaoru stopped me.   
  
Kaoru: You call yourself a doctor?! You're going to kill my Kenshin!   
  
Urd: YOUR Kenshin?! He's MY darling!!   
  
Kaoru: NO HE'S MINE!!   
  
Urd: MINE!!   
  
Kaoru: MINE!!   
  
Kenshin slowly wakes up.   
  
Kenshin: What's going on hair?   
  
Sesshoumaru: ....He's cute too!   
  
Mai: ......... KILL FLUFFY!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Inuyasha: Hey! I'm gonna kill him!! Get back here!!   
  
Kagome: SIT BOY!!!   
  
Inuyasha: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Mi: Ouch!   
  
Kagome: I want to kill that oni girl!   
  
Inuyasha: You mean Kikyo?   
  
Kagome: WRONG ANSWER FOOL!! SIT BOY!!!!!!   
  
Inuyasha: NOOO- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Mai and Mi: Ouch!   
  
Akane: Will you cut that out?!   
  
Sesshoumaru: HELLLOOO!!! Are you forgetting something?   
  
Mai: Oh yeah! KILL FLUFFY!!!!!!   
  
Urd looks at her watch.   
  
Urd: Sorry Kenshin darling! I have to go and send some kids who were run over by a car to heaven! Bye bye!!   
  
Kenshin: Yay!   
  
Kaoru: You've got some explaining to do Kenshin! Who was she?! And what do you have with Mai?!   
  
Mai: (Looking rather upset) I AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM!!!!!   
  
Akane: That's right! You like 'Fluffy'!!   
  
Mai: ......KILL AKANE!!!!!!   
  
Akane: I can fight you-   
  
Kagome: Too late!   
  
My pan was sitting on quite a pleasant little bump.   
  
Akane collapsed.   
  
Everybody: Hurray!!!!!   
  
Kaoru: To celebrate, I'm gonna cook dinner tonight!!   
  
Everyone except Kori: ...NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!   
  
Kaoru: Or I can take us to a restaurant!!!   
  
Everyone: YAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!   
  
Mai: Today seemed to have been quite successful! I messed up everyone's day, just as I planned!   
  
Everyone is staring at me.   
  
Everyone: DIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Mai: CRAP! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!   
  
Kaoru: No free food for you!!!!!!!   
  
Mai: Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!   
  
Brock: I'll be more than happy to buy you dinner if you date- OW!!!   
  
Misty: Don't worry Brock, you'll pay dearly. That I can assure you!   
  
She drags him off by the ear for the second time!!   
  
Everyone sweat drops.   
  
  
  
Mai: Well, that's the end for now!   
  
Kagome: Wait a second! I didn't get to kill you yet!   
  
Mai: You can kill me in the next chapter!   
  
Kagome: Yay!   
  
The End!   
  
Snea: Hold it!  
  
Mai: Now what?  
  
Snea: Where was I?  
  
Mai: Uh.I forgot?  
  
Snea: (yelling) YOU FORGOT!?!  
  
Mai: Oh $#|+! RUN!  
  
I start to run.  
  
Snea: 'Fine. More fun for me!' GET BACK HERE YOU BAKAYARO!!!  
  
Snea pulls out her Quake II model rocket launcher and chases me.  
  
NOW it's the end.  
  
*in background* Mai: (to Snea) Sede! Snea: (crashes to the ground) AAAAHHHHH!!!!* 


	2. Gohan torture! or: Blowing up Anders and...

THE MOST RANDOM TORTURE FIC EVER!!! By Snea + Mai/Evil Yuki  
  
A/N: Kay, this is Snea, and I get to write this chapter. Today's target: Gohan! *under breath* Although I might just get killed today. *normally* Okay! Let's go mess with Gohan!  
  
Chapter 2: Gohan torture! (or: Blowing up Anders and Alvaro from Latin class! ^_^) Chapter By Snea  
  
Disclaimer: I only own Snea. Anders and Alvaro are just there.  
  
~Son Household~  
  
Gohan, Goku, and Goten are shoveling down breakfast.  
  
Snea: 'Hmm. Let's see. I think Akane's cooking will do for this. Just gotta wait for Goku and Goten to move.'  
  
Noticing Goku and Goten aren't going anywhere I get ticked off and just blast 'em into the den.  
  
Snea: 'That's better.'  
  
Gohan: (looks up) Huh? Where'd tou-san and Goten go? (thinks for a sec) Ah, who cares? I get more food!  
  
Gohan continues eating, not seeing that I switched his food while he wasn't looking.  
  
Snea: 'Heh heh heh. Any second now.'  
  
I notice Gohan doesn't faint.  
  
Snea: (getting ticked off) 'Why hasn't he- Oh yeah, he's Sayian.'  
  
I growl.  
  
Snea: 'Fine. Karou's cooking.'  
  
I slip some of Karou's cooking in too and Gohan keeps eating without fainting. I growl some more.  
  
Snea: I give up! Let's go blow something (or someone) up!  
  
I go to find someone to blow up, and guess who I find? Anders! [He's a really annoying Trumpet player in my Latin and band classes.]  
  
Anders: Oh, hi, Jackie.  
  
Snea: (ticked off) I'm not Jackie!  
  
Anders looks at me like I'm crazy [which in some ways I am].  
  
Anders: Did you fail another Latin test or something?  
  
Snea: (really ticked off) WHAT!?! DIE B@$+@R|}!!!  
  
Anders: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
I pull out my mallet and bonk Anders on the head to make him get knocked out.  
  
Anders: (indifferent) Is that all?  
  
I sweatdrop.  
  
Gohan in background: Hey! Where'd my cake go? And what's with the onion donut? (pause) SNEA!!!  
  
Snea: Huh? I didn't take the cake. Unless. (turns to Anders) Where's Alvaro? [Alvaro's another annoying Trumpet player in my Latin and band classes].  
  
Anders points behind me. I turn and see Alvaro running with a cake towards us.  
  
Alvaro: (panting) Here.ya go.Jackie. (hands Snea the cake)  
  
Snea: (looking at the cake) I don't want this. And my name's not Jackie!  
  
Alvaro: (shrugs) Well I don't wanna die. You can come back. I can't.  
  
I pull out my rocket launcher and aim at the boys.  
  
Snea: Too bad.  
  
I start to pull the trigger and-  
  
Gohan: Ma!  
  
I turn to see Gohan doing a Masenko.  
  
Snea: AH! I didn't do it!  
  
Gohan: Sen!  
  
Snea: (yelling) CHI-CHI!!! Gohan's doing a Masenko!  
  
Gohan stops at the sound of clattering in the Son house.  
  
Chi-chi: (running out of the house w/frying pan) GOHAN!!!  
  
Gohan: AAAHHH!!! (flies off)  
  
Snea: (looking at Gohan fly away) 'Idiot. Like she's gonna give up.'  
  
Chi-chi: (stops running for a sec) NIMBUS!  
  
Nimbus flies down and Chi-chi gets on to chase Gohan.  
  
Chi-chi: (yelling as she flies off) GOHAN!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT KILLING AUTHORS!!!!???!!!! (continues ranting as she flies after Gohan)  
  
Snea: 'Really weird family.' (sees Anders & Alvaro trying to slink off [keyword: trying]) Hey! Don't think you're getting off easy!  
  
Anders & Alvaro: $#|+! RUN!!!  
  
Anders and Alvaro start running as I aim my rocket launcher.  
  
Snea: 'Easy targets.' (pulls trigger)  
  
[NOTICE: SCENE WITHELD. REASON: PG13-R- RATED MATERIAL]  
  
Snea: FINALLY!!! (turns to you, the reader) The end! With a very happy ending!  
  
OMAKE!!! THE END.  
.of this chapter.  
  
A/N: NEXT CHAPTER: Let's blow up Mr. Bond! (Kagome kills Mai: Yuki's Appearance)  
  
Mai: Why blow up the 8th grade principle?  
  
Snea and Evil Yuki look at each other.  
  
Snea & Evil Yuki: 'Cause it's fun! Duh!  
  
Mai: -_- Okaaay.whatever. 


	3. Chapter3 Pool Party

10/14/03 A/N: Kay, this is Snea. I had this ch. on my laptop, I was bored, and decided to update it. Enjoy!  
  
A/N: Oi, that was my second onion donut! It's Mai for the 3rd Chappie. Now I feel sick! This chapter someone kills Mr. Bond, the 8th grade principle at my school. Who's the mystery killer?  
  
Yuki: It's Snea of course!  
  
Mai: You're not supposed to give that away, you moron!!  
  
Snea: She talks to herself and calls herself a moron.  
  
Yuki: Listen up ya punks! The 8th grade principle is "mysteriously" blown up, Kagome kills Mai and (cough) I come in, and the target is Ash in the world of Pokemon!!  
  
Mai: GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!!  
  
Snea: Yeah, whatever.  
  
Chapter 3-gotta hit 'em all!  
  
Disclaimer: okay, I don't own anything but my little stuff seal, whose name is Seel!  
  
~At the Ketchum's house, there holding a pool party. Don't ask me when or how they got a pool, it's just there. And a lot of kids from school were invited, which includes me and Snea. Ashes Mom actually invited our school principle even! What could she have been THINKING?!?!~  
  
Ash: But mom, did you have to invite those two?  
  
Mai & Snea give him an evil grin.  
  
Ash's mom: Oh, Ash, don't be so silly!  
  
Mai: Don't worry Ash, we'll be extra careful not to ruin this for ya! I promise not mess this up!  
  
Snea: Yeah Mai, good luck keeping that one! I'm going over to the free food!  
  
Mai: EVERYTHING WITH YOU IS FREE FOOD!!!!!!!  
  
Snea: Well duh! It's free! Meaning I don't have to pay! Plus, it's food! Free food is an event, not an attraction! Snea ya!  
  
Snea walks over to the table of free food and starts eating.  
  
I look around.  
  
Mai: *notices something* Ash? 'Now where could he have gone off to?'  
  
Wonders off. I see Mr. Bond talking to some other grown ups. Wait a second! MY EIGHTH GRADE PRINCIPLE!?!  
  
Mai: *ticked now* Ooooo, Mrs. Ketchum! First I can't find Ash, now I can't find his mommy!!  
  
I was gonna go crazy[Snea: Like you aren't already?] until I saw a certain crazy person[Snea: Me! =^^=] pull out a Quake II Rocket Launcher and aim it at Mr. Bond.  
  
Mai: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT *points at rocket launcher* HERE?!?! *points at the ground*  
  
Snea: *shrugging* I always carry it around. Besides, what do you think I'm doing with it? I'm gonna blow up the principle!  
  
Mai: Oh no ya don't!!  
  
I smack Snea on the head with my f/p (frying pan).  
  
Mai: That should teach ya-oh my g.  
  
I get shot by an arrow and collapsed.  
  
Snea wakes up.  
  
Snea: Huh, what? Mai! *looks past Mai* Oh! Look! FREE FOOD! *goes over to the free food*  
  
Kagome: *evilly* MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KILLED MAI WITHOUT THE HELP OF INUYASHA!!  
  
Inuyasha: *kinda annoyed* You needed me to get here didn't you?  
  
Kagome: *waving hand dismissively* That doesn't count. You're just another way of transportation, like a car or train or something!  
  
Inuyasha: *still annoyed* I feel so loved now.  
  
Someone: Kagome is Inuyasha your body guard or something. Where ever you go he has to come!  
  
Kagome: He just follows me a lot!  
  
Inuyasha: I thought I was a cur.. Or what ever you call it, transportation!  
  
Snea: *confused* Who are you anyways? Mai's twin?  
  
Someone: *shocked for a sec* Isn't it obvious? Mai is dead, *goes into evil mode* so Yuki emerges! MWAHAHAHAHA! THE WITCH OF THE UNDER WORLD!!!!  
  
Snea: *annoyed* Hey. That's my title.  
  
Yuki: Really?  
  
Snea: Yeah. Wanna just share it?  
  
Yuki: *shrugs* Okay.  
  
Snea: *grins* Sweet! Want some free food?  
  
Yuki: Duh!  
  
Both dig in.  
  
~Down in the underworld (really just the world of the Dead)~  
  
Zombies are walking around, going nowhere in particular.  
  
Mai: Wh-wh-where am I? Could Snea's rocket launcher have done this much damage to the party? This place is a total *echos* waaaaaaaasssssssttttteeeee lllllaaaaaaaaaanndddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
DeathRowe: *speaking slowly for Mai* Just look at your chest.  
  
Mai: *confused* Huh? What wrong with. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I'M BLEEDING!!! But why am I here instead of the hospital?  
  
DeathRowe: -_-' *obviously* .....You're kinda dead?.....  
  
Mai: Hmmm. I'm dead, so Yuki's up there now. but if she's in the underworld, then WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD SIDE, IN HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
DeathRowe: *sweatdropping* This isn't Hell! This is the world of the Dead, where you get judged! Yuki made reservations for you here, which Snea-  
  
Mai: *pissed off now and interupts him* YUUUUKIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!  
  
~Leaving the underworld (really just the world of the Dead...again...)~  
  
Snea: *talking to Yuki* ...so that's why I'm gonna blow up Mr. Bond!  
  
Yuki: No, I'm gonna do it!  
  
Snea: Right. How about this? I'm gonna bring Mai back, 'cause SHE doesn't want anyone to blow up Mr. Bond!!! *talking into a walkie-talkie* Hey, DeathRowe! Do you think you could send Mai back up, please?  
  
DeathRowe: *over walkie-talkie* Now?! We're in the middle of playing poker!  
  
Snea: *ticked* NOW!!!  
  
DeathRowe: *sounding kinda scared* Okay!  
  
Mai's back.  
  
Mai: Aaawww, why'd ya have to bring me back for? I was having fun down there, and I was bout to win, too.... Huh? Where'd the arrow and all the blood go?  
  
Yuki: *screaming* Nooo! Now that SHE'S back, half my magic and energy is gone!!!  
  
Mai: HALF!?! YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT HALF!!!??? I'm almost completely dry!!  
  
Yuki: You didn't have that much to begin with! LISTEN UP! I'LL PAY $5 TO WHOEVER KILLS THAT GIRL WITH THE PURPLE HAIR!  
  
Mai: But we both look the same....  
  
Yuki: ..............oh yeah.......dammit.  
  
Inuyasha: I think Yuki's a demon!  
  
Yuki: Hah! Have you ever seen a demon do this?! *pulls r/l (rocket launcher) trigger and Mr. Bond gets blown up!!!*  
  
Snea: *falling to knees* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! WHY!?!?!?!  
  
Mai: *ignoring Snea* NOOO!!!!!! I promised Ash I would ruin the party!!!  
  
Snea: *pointing at Yuki* You did it, not me! I'm outta here! *grabs some free food and hides behind table*  
  
Blood and chunks of flesh fall from the sky, and some of it landed in the punch! [Snea: It's been spiked! *sees metal spikes floatin' around* Uh....nevermind?]  
  
Ash: Ruin it?! That was better than fireworks!  
  
Everyone applauds.  
  
Mai: *sighs* Oh well. *starts to clap too* Hey, Yuki! Looks like ya didn't give away who blows up Mr. Bond after all!!  
  
Yuki: You're correct! Even I didn't expect me to do it!  
  
Snea: *coming from behind table* I really wanted to do it though!  
  
Mai: Hey! I gotta great idea for the next episode!  
  
Yuki: Let's hear it then!  
  
Three of us huddle together.  
  
Mai: *whispering* Ever wonder who's going to be our new principle?  
  
Snea & Yuki: No!  
  
Mai: Of course not.  
  
Snea: But I have an idea! *waves to readers* See you all in the next chapter!  
  
Mai: *also waving* Bye bye!!  
  
Yuki: Whatever.  
  
10/14/03 Snea: Okay, for all of you ppl wondering who we had in line to be 8th grade priciple, it was Vegeta. Happy, now? =^^= Bai! 


	4. Chapter Who Knows

Chapter Who Knows [edit1] Written by FoxyRokie a.k.a. Snea  
  
Author Notes:  
  
Snea: 0 0 .......in the words of Angelic Aki: OH. MY. GOD. I... UPDATED! AHHH! *Dances.* Anyway, enjoy!  
  
++CHAPTER START++  
  
Hi minna! Hope you had a nice New Years! Chinese one too! Anyway, today's [month's] chapter is going to be pretty much just whatever [rambling] cuz I'm not really coming up with anything [laziness]. ............- -........[^ ^].......D-MON!  
  
D-Mon Blue: (innocently) What I do?  
  
- - uh, hello? the comments while I'm speaking ring a bell?  
  
E. Vel Blue: We have bells?  
  
DB: Where?! (looks around) I don't see any!  
  
EVB: B4k4.  
  
DB: Hey!  
  
(two start to fight)  
  
Ignore those two-  
  
Someone: B33R!!!  
  
Someone Else: Do you have to do that?!  
  
Oop! I forgot about those guys! Ladies and readers of our fic! I give you (opens up a door to show a bunch of ppl) The cast from MegaTokyo! (points) And from the Naruto cast: Naruto, Sakura, and Sasu-(stops and counts ppl at the door) Where the #3LL is Sasuke?  
  
Naruto: (shrugs) Who cares?  
  
- -; ...I have no comment...well...actually I do. If Sasuke isn't here to blow up, then we can blow up... (drum roll) ED!  
  
Ed: What!? Why me?  
  
Cuz I feel like it and you need a new face job. (looks at him weirdly) You look too gay like that, dude.  
  
Dom: You mean he isn't?!  
  
Ed: (pulls out his trademark gun) What was that, Sega Boy?  
  
Dom: (pulls out his gun) What's it to you, Sony A$$?  
  
(takes the guns) Cool! You brought me presents! (looks at Piro who's watching Largo chug b33r) Can u get those away from him?  
  
Piro: 0o Excuse me?! No way! Ask Erika to do it!  
  
Do those two like eachother?  
  
Erika: (pokerfaced) No.  
  
Largo: Huh? I like her chest! (gets arm broken by Erika) AIIIIEEEEE! MY B33R! U SPILT IT!  
  
Junpei:  
  
Erika: Point?  
  
Hm...u should really get together with Largo and calm him down?  
  
Erik: How 'bout I should really break (both) your arms?  
  
(sweatdropping) Uh...no? Anyway, I was kinda hoping that you could do something about getting him to stop drinking beer...this isn't an R rated fic. (looks at Erika) well?  
  
Erika: Me? Talk to Piro, it's his roommate. Mine just mopes and obsesses over stuff.  
  
Nanasawa: Hey! I do not Erika!  
  
Erika: (rolls eyes) Right. So the rail card and drinking yourself into oblivion was nothing right?  
  
Nanasawa: (blushing) well...  
  
(snickers) She got you there, Nanasawa.  
  
Largo: (pops in next to Sakura) Hey, are we talking about that beer garden?! What, are we gonna go again!?  
  
Sakura: 0.0 Do you HAVE to DO THAT!?!  
  
Eriaka and Piro: (to Largo) No.  
  
Largo: (crestfallen) Oh. (pops out)  
  
Sakura, plz don't yell. (looks at Dom and Ed who are comparing guns) Hey! What'd I say about guns, you b4k4s!?  
  
Dom and Ed: Uh...nothing? (runs)  
  
HEY! GET BACK HERE (chases after them)  
  
EVB: (sweatdrops) well, at least now we don't have to worry about them blowing anything up. (looks at DB and Naruto, who are squabbling over an instant ramen)  
  
DB: IT HAS SHRIMP! IT'S MINE!!  
  
Naruto: IT IS NOT! (starts fighting with DB)  
  
EVB: (sweatdropping, to Sakura) does he ever think about anything but his stomach?  
  
Sakura: (sweatdropping) I was just about to ask you the same thing.  
  
Piro: (sweatdropping and also watching) well, at least Largo isn't in on that. He pours milk on his instant ramen.  
  
Largo: RAMEN?! WH3R3!?! (looks around and spots the ramen DB and Naruto are fighting over) R4M3N! (runs over and starts fighting with DB and Naruto)  
  
Piro and Sakura: - -'  
  
- -; umm...okay...  
  
Erika: (to FoxyRokie) is there a reason why all three of those dimwits like ramen?  
  
*shrugs* Not really. I don't know where that idea came from.  
  
(CRASH) DB & Naruto: HEY! THAT'S MY RAMEN!!!  
  
(Largo runs past w/ramen followed by DB and Kyuubi Naruto) - -; umm...should I make a plot to this chapter or just let it go as is?  
  
Erika, Nanasawa, Yuki, Seraphim, Miho, and Ping: As is./As is.  
  
T.....T I was afraid of that. (looks around)...uh...hey, where are the others?  
  
Sakura: *sweatdropping* uh, Snea, do you have insurance on this place?  
  
Huh? No, why?  
  
Dom: (in background) NO! DON'T THROW THAT SHURIKEN AT THE GAS-!  
  
(BOOM) Largo: SW33T!!! THE SKY IS BURNING AGAIN!  
  
Ed: MY FACE!!! YOU BASTARD NINJA!!! YOU RUINED MY NEW FACE!!!  
  
Naruto: Uh oh. (runs)  
  
DB: hey! Wait up! (runs after Naruto)  
  
0 0 .............my house..............  
  
Erika: I told you you shouldn't have had those five in the same room together.  
  
Miho: Although I think it wouldn't have mattered. Just DB and Naruto was enough without the so called "L33t M45+3r" here.  
  
Ping: What are you talking about, Tohya-chan?  
  
Miho: Nothing important. Let's get to class.  
  
Ping: Class? *BEEP!* AH! I have to get dressed!  
  
Hey wait a minute! This is the remains of MY house! You're not going to-!  
  
+SCENE CHANGE+  
  
(everyone minust Ping is standing outstide the remains of Rokie's house. (Ed has his head bandaged up again))  
  
*sigh* How long does it take a PlayStaion 2 accessory to get dressed for school?  
  
Miho: As long as it takes I guess.  
  
Yuki: How long is that?  
  
Seraphim: A long time, I'm guessing.  
  
T _ T ...so...anyone up for coffee and pastries?  
  
Erika: I know a pretty cheap place that sells good ramen and pastries.  
  
DB & Naruto: Really? Where?  
  
Sakura: *slaps Naruto* Like you're going to get any after what you just did to Snea's house!  
  
Naruto: *teary-eyed, holding bump* why? That's cruel starvation!  
  
DB: *snikering* it cruel to you, but it means more for me, though!  
  
Yuki: I doubt you're getting any, too.  
  
*poiting at Yuki* I like this girl!  
  
Nanasawa: So what are we waiting for?  
  
Everyone else: Ping./Ping./ Squeak./Mng. [Ping.]  
  
(looking at Ed) How can you even mumble after what just happened to you?  
  
Ed: Mmwheeng eemmbee. [Very easy.]  
  
EVB: *sweatdropping* Dude...you're really weird.  
  
Ed: Mmm wmph. *bandages near mouth area shift* [I know. *evil grin*]  
  
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...whatever.  
  
Largo: Hey, does this place sell b33r?  
  
Piro: I seriously doubt it, Largo.  
  
Erika: The place across the street does.  
  
Largo: SW33T!  
  
- -; Oookaaaaaaaaay. Anyway, let's get going! (everyone leaves)  
  
(5 minutes later...)  
  
Ping: *coming out of the house's remains* Tohya-chan! I'm ready! *looks around* Where'd everyone go?  
  
++END OF CHAPTER++  
  
Author Notes:  
  
Snea: Yeah yeah. I know. Pathetic, right? Well, guess what? I KNOW THAT!!! You try working on 3 fics at once while doing a 10 page minimum research paper, ON A TOPIC YOU CARE NOTHING ABOUT!!!  
  
EVB: Uh...you can stop screaming now.  
  
Snea: Shut-up, Sarcasist!  
  
EVB: Well, excuse me. Just trying to help.  
  
DB: *rolls eyes* Girls...  
  
Snea & EVB: What was that!?!  
  
DB: *whimpering* Nothing? *runs*  
  
EVB: GET BACK HERE!!!  
  
Snea: Anyway, Mai, it's your turn to come up with a chapter. I'm gonna work on the chapter on my dad's laptop (which was supposed to be this one) as my next one. Well, Mai. I leave the suffering to you now. Oh, and btw, if you wanted me to push Sasha off the dock at crew any time soon, it's too late. V_V I got injured at crew last week, so I'm gonna be rowing with the novices and Kat (Sasha's lil' sis) till I'm completely healed. *grins* Then I get to go back up to the Freshman team before Regattas (rowing races)! Yay for me! Luv ya, Mai! Later!  
  
Sneaselmon: In the words of Mai: Sne-!  
  
Snea: *covering Sneaselmon's mouth* Say it and I snap your neck. *to readers* Bai! 


	5. Housewarming

Housewarming

Written by FoxyRokie a.k.a. Snea

Author Notes:

FoxyRokie: bwhahaha! I took Mai's spot for the next chapter! I am AKU!!! Anyway, this is pretty much the sequel to the last chapter! After all, where am I supposed to sleep after what happened last time!?

++CHAPTER START++

Welcome, my little duckies! Torture chapter ahead! After blowing up my old house, I got a new one! Now everyone is throwing me a house warming party! (looks at group) Aren't you?

(Everyone nods.)

see? They love me!

Naruto: I thought I loved Sakura-chan.

(Sakura goes red with anger.)

Riiiiiiiiiight. Anyway! I've decided that these guys (points at everyone behind her) are going to be my main torture-ees. So when I write a chapter, they'll be there! Aren't I fun? *grins*

DB & Naruto: No.

Erika: are you insane?

No, not really.

Largo: hey, Snea, do you have any b33r h33r?

- -; uh, no. I'm not even 18 yet. Besides, didn't I tell you that last chapter?

Naruto: (looks in cabinets) what about instant ramen?

In the pantry...hey! Naruto! Take one at a- oh. Why do I even bother?

(loud explosion heard in the kitchen)

Sakura: NARUTO!

Naruto: How was I supposed to know it would explode!?

O_O ...okaaaaaaay...WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY KITCHEN?!

Naruto & Sakura: Nothing!

Piro: -  - is it just me or is he worse that Largo?

Seraphim: Nowhere near it.

Dom: I am the worst!

Ed: Only when it comes to your weapons!

(Dom pulls out- DUN DUN DU~UN!)

Dom: Fear the- "Vibrating Sheep of Doom!"

Only $7.95 at the closet Rokie store!

Naruto: *eating* Mrf mmphfm mer mare mumf? [That's supposed to scare up?]

Dom: *aghast* It doesn't?!

D-Mon Blue: SHEEP! (tackles Dom)

- -' why did I even bother to invite you ppl to my housewarming party?

Erika: 'Cause we're paying for it?

^   ^ oh! Then welcome to my new house!

Ping: What is being said?

oh nothing. Just you guys paying for my housewarming party.

Ping: oh.

Piro: *looking at Snea* since when could you speak Japanese?

Since I said Largo was a blond.

Piro: I thought he was a red-head.

He looks better as a blond in my opinion. Just like how Ed looked better before he got a face job.

Ed: Hey! It wasn't my fault! (points at Ping) it's that baka of a PS2 accessory's fault!

............(*BEEP!*)

Ping: *angry* did he just call me a baka!?!

...um...no?

(Ping picks up Ed, who's screaming like a little girl, and throws he out the window just like at the nurse's office. Like last time, his head clips a pillar on the way out, taking a large chunk of it with him.)

O     O ........my house.........my **new** house..........

Junpei: Oooh...friend of L33t Master make good UFB.

Erika: UFB?

Junpei: Unidentified flying bisho.

(everyone minus Ping, Naruto, and Largo bust out laughing.)

EVB: don't let him hear you say that.

Nah, it'd prolly just fuel his already big, over-sized ego.

D-Mon: it'd still be funny seeing his expression though!

Naruto: ....that was a guy?

(everyone looks at him.)

Naruto: What?

Sakura: (smacks Naruto in the back of the head) Just shut up and eat your ramen.

Naruto: *grins* Okay, Sakura-chan! (goes back to eating)

Skaura: *pissed off* (smacks Naruto in the head again making him go face first into the ramen bowl.) Don't call me chan!

-    - dude., you guys are seriously paying for the stain removal of my carpet.

D-Mon: HEY! That was **my** ramen bowl! ....(sits down and starts crying)

Largo: Hey, is anyone else freaked out about his crying?

(everyone nods, looking a D-Mon strangely.)

Boo: *SQEAK!*

Largo: you're right, Boo, he is PMSing.

(all girls and DB look at Largo.)

*in fake sweet voice* Hey, Largo.

Largo: Yeah?

*angrily* (pulls out Quake II Model Rocket Launcher) you should run.

Largo: (sees all the girls with their various weapons save for Erika, Ping, and Nanasawa as Ping and Erika don't need one cuz they _are_ one and Nanasawa just sux.) Yeah....bye! (runs out of house)

DB: (jumps in front of the door facing the girls with a Quake I Rocket Launcher) Girls! (turns to the door (and running Largo) while raising right hand in air) ATTACK! (brings hand down quickly and they all give chase.)

(Boys watch as the girls run out of the house after Largo.)

Piro: Huh. Who would've thought that would happen?

Naruto: (face still red from ramen) Why do you think it's called _random_?

Junpei: Is there reason why L33t Master Largo is being chased?

Asmodeus: Yea. But I don't think going after him would be a great thing to do right now.

Boo: *SQUEAK!*

(Large explosion is heard and the ground shakes.)

Piro: well, there goes Largo.

Asmodeus: *to Piro* Should we leave?

Piro: Yeah.

(Everyone leaves.)

(....except....)

???: FOOD!

??? 2: not now!

(BANG!)

++CHAPTER END++

**Author Notes:**

FoxyRokie: O    O ......WHO THE H3LL WAS **_THAT_**!?!

D-Mon: I dunno.

EVB: good question. But I'm too tired to care.

D-Mon: Same. Hey, Snea, can you start referring to me as DB again instead of D-Mon?

FR: why?

D-Mon: I'm starting to think our audiences will mistake me for a Digimon.

EVB: ...you _are_ Digimon. Just not fully.

D-Mon: really? O wow. I didn't know that!

FR: really? Did you know that pain travels faster than 300 feet per second?

(Both look at her.)

EVB: *quickly* well I'm ready for bed!

DB: *catching on* me too! 'night, Snea!

(both run off.)

FR: ......okay...whatever. hmm...about a thousand words for this chapter. Not bad if I do say so myself. Which I do. anyway! Mai! Hurry up with that chapter! Well, I'm signing off for the night before I faint of fatigue and lack-of sleep. Later, minna!


End file.
